Who Needs Hobbies When You Have Wine???

Hobbies.

Sure, you had them in high school. Your parents made you have after school activities because they wanted you to be well rounded or able to play golf because "it's a business sport."

Or, maybe you were legitimately good at the high jump or making baskets or even crushing other teens with your own personal body mass. (Congratulations, by the way. Seriously, hats off to you.)

But who REALLY has hobbies anymore? Grandmas, sure. They have time AND access to an insane amount of wool. And I guess there are ladies who lunch, play tennis and are "philanthropically minded."

In an act of total hobby defiance I would like to declare that I do not have any of the formal hobbies that society tells me that I should have.

And you know what? I'm cool with that. Because I have something better.

I HAVE WINE !

I am so much better off NOW with wine than THEN with volleyball and soccer and highschool plays and chorus (ah! chorus!) because I am now over the age of 21 and I can order drinks just as many places as Dr. Seuss can decline green eggs and ham. In a boat with a goat AND with a mouse in a house.

Now. In the case of Hobbies vs. Ashley - it all began where the roots of all drama spring up and slap you in the face - the holidays. I was enjoying my meal at the dinner table one Christmas - either 2010 or 2009 as I have only somewhat successfully tried to repress this memory. At the dinner table my uncle asks.. "So Ashley, what are your hobbies?"

Ashley: Silence.

Silence followed by... more silence.

Well....I like to travel?

Family: Silence.

Ashley: Um.... I got a trainer this year?

Family: (visibly judging my waistline and buffness, both of which are unimpressive) Silence.

Ashley: Uhhhhh.. I volunteer! yeah! with kids! unfortunate kids! in the Bronx! And I used to volunteer in a prison!

Family: Grumbles. They've either given up, realized that I am Mother Theresa (duh. obviously.) or realized that desert was being served and there were better things to focus on.

At that moment I realized the 1 answer to the furious hobby question that will ALWAYS get you out of dodge. Are you ready? Because this is really going to save you from stabbing yourself or a relative in the eye.

THE ANSWER - MARATHONS.

If you are training for a marathon people automatically think that:

1. you are committed
2. you are a competitor
3. you are working out

This drives me crazy because I have something that says the same thing!

I have something that says that I am committed - all you have to do is check my liver, alterness at 4am on Sunday mornings and my debit card.

I have something that says I am a competitor - because don't get it twisted, I WILL outlast you until last call.

I may not totally have something that says I am working out but I do curl my arm repeatedly, albiet mainly the right one.

Wine is my something and my hobby. And while this post might be a solid piece of evidence that I should join L.Lo at Promises - all I can do is keep on keepin' on, wondering where I am going to brunch with my girlfriends this Saturday and what I might choose to drink when I get there.